“Stay Afraid, But Do It Anyway!”

Wise words spoken by a wise, and deeply flawed, woman whose passing shocked and saddened the world this week. Carrie Fisher died too young, in my opinion, but, hey, maybe her music was finished and she was ready to move on. Such a powerful voice in the world will be missed.

Carrie’s passing spawned an outpouring of all the wise-cracking, side-splitting comments and rants she shared through the years, and when compiled, they showed what an irreverent, individualistic woman she was. Carrie’s strength and determination both on-screen and off-screen inspired many throughout the world. If only I could leave behind such a powerful legacy…

I picked out one of my favorite quotes from Carrie Fisher — pictured above. This was her way of sharing with the world (mostly aimed at women) that she, too, was afraid at times, but she figured out that she could move forward and carry onย despite her fear, and eventually confidence would take over. With courage and confidence she bravely fought her addiction demons all those years. She learned to fake it til she made it, as she admitted many times, appearing on stage when her depression was in full force. Carrie put on a smile, a smashing outfit, went out on that stage and charmed the pants off her adoring fans. Yes, Carrie Fisher knew the power of faking your confidence, and she probably used that power more times than we knew.

Science shows that a smile creates a chemical reaction in your brain that makes you feel happiness. Even if you walk out the door and put on a fake smile, eventually you will feel happier. So, too, will putting on a fabulous outfit make you feel confident. I’m telling you — as I’ve written about many times in the past — even if you’re not feeling the confidence on the inside, all you have to do is look like you’re confident on the outside, and eventually the confidence will take over. It works. Confidence is contagious. Start with the seeds of confidence by wearing an outfit that makes you feel authentic and fabulous, and it will trigger a thought process in your brain that says, “I can do this. I AM good. I’m getting out there and shining today!”

For those of us who are still working, reinventing, or just living a purposeful life, that thing called confidence comes and goes. We have good days and bad days. But, we still have to get out of bed and face the day with all the gusto we can muster.

Here are some of my CONFIDENCE BUILDING TIPS to help you be confident whether you’re feeling it or not:

Confidence Tip #1: Wear your brightest, boldest colors

Wear your brightest, boldest colors. Every color palette has a range of color intensities, from high to low intensity. When you pump up the color intensity you change your mood. There’s more energy in high intensity colors, turning your mood from somber to magnetic and sparkling. Try this tip on a day when your confidence is low, and see what happens!

If you want help knowing what colors will bring out your confidence, I’m still offering my FIND YOUR COLOR SIZZLE! virtual workshop at $27. Here are the details for this offer >> Get Your Color SIZZLE Back!

Confidence Tip #2: Put on layers of jewelry

Put on layers of necklaces, earrings, and bracelets and just have fun playing dress up! Look at how much fun Iris Apfel looks like she’s having. I’ll bet she walks out of her Manhattan apartment and gets tons of attention every day. Be kooky, creative, over-the-top fashionista. Now that’s a confidence booster!

Confidence Tip #3: Sing and dance like Madonna

Play your favorite, most upbeat songs as you’re getting dressed (and, yes, dance around the room!) in the morning. You’ll be having so much fun singing the words to your favorite Eagles song that you’ll just float out the door with a big smile on your face. It really does melt away the worry and the fear. Try it!

Confidence Tip #4: Visualize a perfect day

Before you start your day, if you’re feeling a little scared or apprehensive, just spend two minutes being still, with your eyes closed, and visualize how successful/fun/interesting your day is going to be. This works!!

Try one of these confidence boosting tips and let us know how it works for you.

How do you deal with overcoming fear and building your confidence to do something even when you’re afraid?